


reflecting

by unconventionalturtle



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Introspection, M/M, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Fluff, Post-Wedding, morning after the wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:00:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22579756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unconventionalturtle/pseuds/unconventionalturtle
Summary: The morning after the wedding Alec reflects on how much has changed.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 8
Kudos: 92





	reflecting

**Author's Note:**

> I've never posted fic before and I've never written for this fandom before but I was thinking about Malec at work and this just kind of happened. I also now have ideas for a much longer fic that involves plot, so there may or may not be more of my writing coming soon! 
> 
> Also this fic was made possible in part the song Stumblin' Home by Smallpools if you want to give it a listen. The lyrics do NOT match this fic at all, but the vibe of the song does:)

Alec woke up warm and content in a way he still wasn’t quite used to. He lay there feeling Magnus’ breath on his chest, his wedding ring cool on Alec’s waist. Inexplicably he felt like he might cry.

He let his eyes flutter open and land on his husband’s face. His husband. He smiled to himself.

They were married.

This was everything he’d never dared to let himself even consider wanting. He knew that wanting something he’d never get would hurt too much, so he’d never let himself want it at all. 

And yet. Here he was, lying in bed married to the love of his life. He could hardly believe it was real. Alec had no responsibilities for the next two weeks and he thought he’d probably be content to stay right there looking at Magnus asleep in his arms for that entire time.

Unfortunately, being earth-shatteringly in love did not stop the call of nature, so with a sigh Alec carefully slid out of Magnus’ grasp and into the bathroom.

Alec was about to head back to the bedroom, prepared to convince Magnus that they should stay in bed for all two weeks instead of going on whatever surely extravagant honeymoon Magnus had planned when he caught his reflection in the mirror and stopped short.

He stood, frozen in front of the mirror, and stared at his face. 

It had been years since he’d last properly looked at his reflection. There was a reason for that. 

He remembered being 10 and trying to fix his hair, wishing it would lie flat, wishing it would be silky smooth like Jace’s hair.

He remembered being 14 and hating himself for being so skinny when the other boys his age had started to get muscles, hating himself for being too tall and too skinny.

He remembered being 16 and seeing a broken boy who was in love with his best friend, seeing a disappointment who couldn’t do anything, least of all love, right.

He remembered being 18 and trying to smile in the mirror, trying to make the smile reach his eyes. It never did. 

He’d avoided mirrors after that.

It was easier to pretend he was ok when he didn’t have to see the anger and misery clear on his face. 

But the face he saw in the mirror now, it almost didn’t look like his own.

His hair was the same messy mop of black it had always been, his eyes the same hazel. 

But he didn’t look angry, or sad, or hopeless.

He looked almost… soft. 

__________________________________________________________________________

Magnus woke up slowly, sunlight poking through a gap in the curtains. He couldn’t help the slow smile that spread across his face.

For the first time in his very long life, Magnus Bane was a married man.

If a year ago someone had told Magnus that his first marriage would be at the New York Institute to a Lightwood, he would have laughed in their face. If someone had told Magnus that Maryse Lightwood would walk him down the aisle and a Silent Brother would officiate the ceremony, he would have insisted they were insane. And yet on this morning all of that was true and Magnus had never been happier. 

He reached for Alec as if to assure himself that the past year hadn’t just been a crazy dream. That all of it was real. But when he reached out his hand hit empty air and a cold bed. 

Magnus frowned. He wasn’t unaccustomed to waking up with Alec already gone—an unfortunate consequence of his job. But it was the morning after their wedding and Magnus knew that Alec didn’t have anywhere to be for fourteen days. He opened his eyes and looked around the room. No Alec. He listened but didn’t hear him in the kitchen. Then his eyes landed on the bathroom door, slightly ajar. Reluctantly he sat up and left the comfort of the bed, throwing on a robe and trying not to let himself think about all the worst-case scenarios. 

Magnus made his step loud enough to alert Alec he was up so as not to startle him, and he gently pushed open the bathroom door. 

He stopped cold when he saw Alec, standing in front of the mirror, his eyes closed, and tears in his eyes.

“Alexander?” he asked quietly.

Alec started, clearly not having heard Magnus come in. He blinked the tears from his eyes and finally caught Magnus’ eyes in the mirror.

“Surely you don’t regret getting married already?” Magnus asked jokingly, desperate to fix whatever was wrong. 

“What? No!” Alec said snapping around to look at Magnus.

He had said it as a joke, he didn’t actually think Alec would regret it so soon, but the vehemence in Alec’s voice was reassuring anyways.

“Do you want to tell me then, why I woke up to an empty bed and you in the bathroom crying?” Magnus asked gently.

Alec brought his hands up to his face quickly and seemed surprised to find his cheeks damp.

“Oh,” he said softly. “Sorry. I just got up to use the bathroom and I must have…” he trailed off.

“Gotten lost in your head?” Magnus offered.

“Yeah,” Alec breathed. “It’s just,” he paused. “I used to hate my reflection. No matter what I did I always just looked so angry and sad and miserable. But now, I look…” 

He turned back towards the mirror and Magnus watched him examine his face.

“Happy. I am happy.” 

Magnus smiled softly as Alec continued.

“I just, I never thought that was something I would get. I guess it all finally caught up to me. How desperately unhappy I used to be, how hopeless and angry I used to look. How much I’ve changed.” He laughed softly. “How much better everything is now.” 

“You know,” Magnus said, coming up to rest his chin on Alec’s shoulder, “I like this reflection too.”

Alec linked their hand bringing them up to press a kiss to Magnus’ wedding ring. He smiled, making eye contact with Magnus in the mirror.

“I love you,” he said, in that breathless and earnest way that always made Magnus’ heart feel too big for his chest.

“I love you too,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to Alec’s shoulder.

They stood there for a minute taking in the sight of their reflection.

“Come back to bed now?” Magnus asked breaking the silence and letting a little whine into his voice.

Finally, Alec grinned, traces of anything but joy wiped from his face.

“Of course. It was remiss of me to force my husband to wake up to an empty bed this morning,” he said, kissing their linked hands and pulling Magnus towards the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, constructive criticism, and kudos are appreciated!


End file.
